Posted by: kuyan | Ogos 22, 2006

Ready to face everyone

I’ve been hiding for quite a while….hiding from what?Really..I’m not
sure…I have to face the reality…reality does bite…yes…it’s how we
handle the problem that changes the whole perspectives…

shy?Just be honest and tell everyone that things did not work out…wipe
away the ego in you…nobody will laugh at you…not to be afraid of your
own shadows that haunt you all the time…not to give in..not to give
up…that’s what you need to do…

Things happen for a reason, Allah knows best….be patient…and seek help from Him….

studies suck big time, I’m hurt, physically, mentally and emotionally
affected..and now I’m okay to accept the fact that I won’t go far
here…not as planned…as often being said…we can only plan, but Allah

..that’s not the end…this might be just the
beginning of something bigger, more unexpected ahead of me…so…expect
the unexpected!!…I don’t expect anyone to
understand…those used to be close to me now drift away….probably since
I’ve been in silence too long…but if you really understand…you’ve never
been too far in my heart and in my thoughts….

What’s written within my fate…only my Creator knows…and I surrender to Him..



  1. 🙂 Yes kuyan…Allah knows best

  2. Assalamualaikum kuyan,

    happy to received your offline msg, and too happy that you remember me,
    and very sad that I ‘am not lookin at your blog ealier…eventhough it
    was on my favorites list.

    Perasaan kak liza bercampur baur
    giler bila baca semua tulisan kuyan…and ingat balik semua suka duka
    zaman PhD tu..macam trauma gitu…..I was lucky that I have you when I am
    facing the most depressing moment toward the end of my study…..I can
    ask you anytime to be with me, crying…ingat tak kak liza jalan sambil
    meraung ke tasik warwick dengan kuyan, menagis berjam2 kat tasik
    warwick…..saiko giler dengan study, hopefully my image on your head not
    just muka kak liza yang suka nangis tu…..Then …I feel so you
    are in finishing stage, I am not there trying to pay back what you have
    given to me before. Thats why kak liza keep calling you, sending msg to
    you, because kuyan is so special.

    Someone has told me that
    life during PhD is like roller coaster tunnel, sometimes you are up and
    down and the hardest one is when the roller coaster tunnel is dark, but
    I am sure you have gone through all that. The most distracting part is
    when you not see yet the light at the end of the tunnel, or some time
    you see it sometime not…some time your model or analysis could be
    applied sometime not… something like that. Kak liza rasa everybody
    facing that toward the end of their the PhD…..we need extra ordinary
    emotional strenght and confident to complete the study. We only have
    two option to go out the tunnel, keep searching that light and go out,
    which is the vivar..or turning back that might be, we even more lost
    and could not face it.

    We need to believe that the
    research that we conduct is worth it to be submited. The problem is we
    sometime under estimate our effort that what we did is nothing, the
    research is just a little finding, we might feeling that because we are
    too deep on that research, we are very well on that area, but actually
    other people lookin on our work willl appriaciate the funding, its new
    to them…in this modern era of education kak liza think every scientist
    beleive any small finding will mean a lot to the academic…just put all
    you work on the report, organise it, compile it and tell Zhang that you
    has some academic contribution and you need to end everything.

    hope you did remember end spring 2004 I have feeling like I need
    another 2 years to complete my study..I did mention to you that abang
    shafizal willing to stay for another 2 years. Then entah macam mana
    Allah punya kuasa, I just start writing, compile everthing, okey ke tak
    okey just add in..itu kerja Green untuk komen…and Allah punya
    kuasa..rupa–rupanya banyak juga dah buat kerja…and a few academic
    contribution can be listed, just the key is we need to be brave enough
    to claim and get credit. Terima kasih lah dengan begitu banyak
    pertolongan kengkawan especially kuyan, petua2 dan nasihat…misalnya
    yassin before I start my experiment, amalan yassin 40 kali, bacaan 7
    kali 2 ayat terakhir AtTaubah etc…alhamdulilah, Allah has shorten masa
    yang kak liza nampak that I need another 2 years to be just 6 months.

    liza, abang shafizal dan mak di skudai nie selalu jer doakan kuyan…we
    did miss you a lot. Okey kuyan….moga kuyan tenang dan tabah, senyum
    selalu… semuanya adalah milik Allah dan kepadanya kita berserah. rajin
    rajin tulis kat blog nie have peminat kat Skudai yang nak baca.

    kirim salam kat Am, may be Am baca jugak komen nie… kirim salam kat Kak Yong and Abg Bob ya…syok nya kenduri BBQ kat rumah kak yong masa summer.

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