Posted by: kuyan | Mac 13, 2007

Circle of friends and the retreat

I watched the Retreat by BBC 2 last
night…last part of a 3 part documentary on the explorations of 6
volunteers towards Islam…well..I thought that the show was
mindblowing….being here in the UK, Alhamdulillah…I’ve got to know the
many faces of Islam…will never get this chance back home…back home it’s
like…taking advantage and being ignorant about Islam…but inside my
heart….always empty….being born a muslim does not necessarily mean that
we are muslims….you’re a muslim by name…but are you a muslim?now I

I even got goosebumps when I watched Pom (one of the volunteers…a
Brit..about my age…a Psychotherapist if I’m not mistaken) reverted to
Islam…..she recited the syahadah…I cried and cried…

I wish that I was her…her heart is pure….they said that those revert to Islam are like newborn babies….

…she has been granted Hidayah from Allah…..but…me?Where am I now?Am I on the right path?Am I lost?Guide me Allah….

I’m trying to regain my confidence…searching for long lost friends
and relatives….now I’ve just realised how foolish I am for not keeping
in touch with those who used to know me….I used to have such a big
circle of friends, and I had withdrawn from that circle for quite a
while now and that’s silly!!What have I missed!!Bloody hell a lot!!!!

I was so depressed and so drawn into this idea that it’s best not to let people know about me…as I’m such a loser….

…I was not like this….I used to be outgoing….full of confidence….but…what’s eating me????

Will I get the chance to turn around and be like the old me again???

To all my friends and those who know me…….I owe you guys an apology!!!!

I’m such a jerk….



  1. “All we are is the dust falling through the wind.” – Socrates

    I watched the programme with great anticipation every week. If a set
    of actions reminds you of Allah and his wonders on the earth, is that
    so bad. At the end of the ‘experiment’ the two most memorable
    characters seem to be Aysha and ‘Pom’.

    Aysha didnt fit right in, she argued, complained and questioned
    every move. She could be seen as a control freak. She wanted eveything
    argued about where it was written in stone. I would like her to learn
    that sometimes she must let go and trust in you creator. I forgave the
    Imam when he answered back ~I dont care. He probably got sick of her
    winging, a momentary lapse of cool-ness.

    Then Pom makes unexpected move, she converts! I feel this was done
    in a rushed way – Imam Abdullah should have asked and queried more
    about why she should and it should be done for the right reasons. He
    should have first questioned her reasoning, only if she persisted he
    should then be forth coming to accept Islam. Its not a numbers game-its
    about quality.

    Anyway there are many people out there who dissed the programme. I
    say if it opens the discussions and many ‘muslims’ reconnect with their
    creator I say is that all bad.

    May Allah smile upon us always.

  2. Pls check out,, and for good material on Islam

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