Posted by: kuyan | Mac 14, 2007

Anger, happiness and sadness

I was in the middle of doing my inputting job when my eyes ached
like hell such that I had to change the scene….Am was really angry at
me for…err…I’m not sure really…maybe I was being a bit harsh in trying
to build up his confidence…the way I say things sometimes…sounds a bit
too nasty to him I guess….I absolutely have no idea what’s in his head…

I don’t quite understand why was he so upset…he took it the wrong
way and was really hurt with what I said….well…men…you guys are from
Mars that’s for sure…

…I checked out CNN news website
instead…and well…the aching got even worse when I saw this news article
on the US Imams wanting to sue the American Airlines for throwing them
out of the plane for…performing solat…ohh…american bastards….you’re
such ignorant bastards…what…?!!!You thought that they were going to
hijack the plane?There is no excuse for being ignorant…yeah!!Common Pak
Imams!!! Sue them!!! Sue them!!!

Got to work tomorrow…sending out job ads….will be on my own this
time as Am will go to Worcester early tomorrow for his networking
thingy…hmm…have to wake up early to sort out his shirt and suit…some
ironing to do huh…

Papa..papa…I know that Kuadik and Mama were mad at you for not
giving the money….but I’m putting the blame on me for not sending
enough money to home lately….

..Ya Allah…help us to help our family…Am really needs the job…

I’m a bit happy as my Friendster friends list is growing….but I’m so
sad of knowing that Kimi’s mother has passed away for almost 2 years
now…I only knew about this last night when I checked out his blog…

arwah used to remember me quite a lot back then during form 5. I
used to get jajan from arwah whenever Kimi got back from
Terengganu….yes…Kimi was…informally…my adik angkat….we never made it
formal..it’s like…a mutual understanding….i sometimes bought him nasik
after prep malam and asked one of the boys to give it to him…I was
always fond of him…in a brotherly way of course…..

…but not sure why we drifted apart after I left SEMSAS…I noticed him quite a few times when I was in IKIP….but
never had the initiative to bertanya khabar….and still noticed him in
pics…he has grown….and yes..I sometimes remember his mother…..always
wanted to ask Kimi about his mother…but…..I misused every opportunity
God Gives me to say hello to him…I ignored instead…and…it’s too late
now….

I wish that Kimi keeps on praying for his mother…..I know he will….

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Responses

  1. Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

    Hey Kuyan, Apa Khabar?

    InshaAllah hope that things are better for you, I really understand how you feel.

    Juggling your thesis write-up and marriage isn’t easy at all. I’m
    also in the same process, some days I literally do nothing for my PhD
    and I really feel disappointed with myself.

    But we can do it 🙂 just think only a few more months of hard work
    and our PhD’s will be over…. lol I don’t want to be at Warwick for
    another ten years!

    All the best Kuyan, May Allah swt give us success in our studies and also our family life Ameen

    🙂 P.S. I think it is natural to ‘lose’ some friends once you can
    married, I hardly have them time to email my ex-warwick mates.


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